i have come up with what i believe is the greatest pun to transcend humanity

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HOW DOES A BASTARD
ORPHAN
SON OF A WHORE
AND A SCOTSMAN
DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOR-
GOTTEN SPOT IN THE CARRIBEAN
BY PROVIDENCE, IMPOVERSIHED IN SQUALOR
GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR

ALEXANDER HAMILTON
MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON
AND THERE'S A MILLION THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE
BUT JUST YOU WAIT
JUST YOU WAIT

When he was ten, his father split, full of it, debt-ridden

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